CANDIDATES, TAKE NOTICE

I've already suggested here that voters ascertain NOW if their choices of candidates have naturally colored hair and not wait months to notice and start speculating about it THEN. Now I wish to tell those candidates with solid black hair how to disguise that look. Just have your hairdresser add some permanent highlights. These will most likely be a dark brown shade. You will look younger with the highlights than without them. 

After you have moved into the White House, we trust you will be too busy to think about such trivial matters; just let the White House barber take this burden off your shoulders (and off your scalp). 

When you are in residence about twenty months, a little gray on the temples will be a distinguishing look. You will have earned it. If your hair doesn't begin to go gray by the end of your first term, some will argue that you've been playing golf too often and letting the job go.