Saturday, November 27, 2010

What Is Spell Check for, Anyway?

Recently I Googled the name of a person I’d never heard of before, and found an interesting comment, not the least bit enlightening. The researched name appeared in the dedication of a book, but in a rather mysterious way. I just wanted to know why. The comment I located accused this author, whom I was reading, of “plazerising” someone else’s work, possibly in a memoir. The least one can do in accusing another of plagiarizing is to spell the word right.

The name I looked up had only one notation of its use. That was in the dedication in the book I was reading. More mysterious than ever. Life stories can be complicated.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday

Black Friday seems well-named. Sixty million people reportedly went shopping, stood in long lines, some even trampled other shoppers, bought the bargains they planned to buy, and then bought higher-priced items they hadn’t planned to buy. The stores had planned that. Perhaps the most foolish aspect was a remark by one buyer, “The recession is over.” The lame-duck Congress has not yet voted on the Bush tax cuts. That shopper may have a big surprise in his first pay check of 2011. No one could have paid me enough money to send me shopping today.

Only Your Hairdresser Knows

At the supermarket last Wednesday to buy my weekly list of items, I was in line behind a short, white-haired lady, when I saw the cashier give the woman her receipt, saying to her, “Now stay warm!” (Our temp registered in the twenties.) I wondered if she would tell me to stay warm. When she handed me my receipt, she said, “Happy Thanksgiving!” So I decided I wasn’t old. The customer ahead of me could have been ten or more years younger than I, but I’d just had my hair done, and my stylist keeps it blond as it used to be. I hope you had a memory-making Thanksgiving too.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Almost Unbelievable

Today I heard something on television that astounded me. Perhaps everyone else knew but me—again. I try my best not to keep up with everything, just 95% of it.

I do not know what country the newsman was talking about, but one of those “over there,” perhaps Afghanistan. The gist was the citizens of the country mentioned do not even know about our twin towers being hit by terrorists. I wonder why they think our troops are there.

George W. Bush’s Decision Points reveals what a primitive society Afghanistan is. So, I can readily believe they never heard about our plight. I might add, in this Age of Information too. So long as there is a country with such lack of information, we should not brag about our own stroke of privilege.

Another Threat

Two duffel bags this time, with a Nigerian identification, at Logan Airport, Boston. At the moment, being checked out. The hero was a dog trained to sniff for potential weapons. This Thanksgiving Day we should remember these canines and their handlers, and give thanks for them. And further thanks for the human beings trained to open those duffel bags. They are all heroes in my book.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Again, from the Top

I would like to see—just once will do—the president's actually touching the hand railing as he descends the flight of stairs from Air Force One. What is he afraid of, someone else’s germs? Hugging his arms close to his chest makes him look childish.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Royal Wedding

With the British economy the way it currently is, wouldn’t it be wise if the cost of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s April wedding were trimmed a bit? The press’s quoted sum of $20 to $40 million for the event perhaps does not seem so much when we daily hear about trillions, but for the average British subject it must seem excessive. Fewer seed pearls on Kate’s gown wouldn’t be missed. Their cost is only a drop in the bucket, but they do have to be sewn on by hand, which means hours of paid work. Her engagement ring didn’t cost anything, for it was Princess Diana’s gorgeous sapphire surrounded by diamonds. Now, if they could just cut out the expense of all those big hats Kate has already begun to wear, that might save a bundle. If she must wear the hats (each only once perhaps?), how about some designs that suit her personality? Five months older than William, she is nevertheless still quite young. All she needs on her pretty head is a tiara.

Cutting the cost of this wedding just might endear the new princess to the whole world’s people sooner than anything else she might do.

Friday, November 19, 2010

It’s Hilarious!

With regard to my blog about “chest of drawers” and “Chester drawers,” I received some interesting response. Perhaps everyone else in the country but me knew there was a song writer, entertainer, and comedian who goes by the name Chester Drawers. I don’t think Eddie Bowman would have chosen that name for himself, if he hadn’t concluded the same thing I had, that it was ridiculously funny.

Wikipedia acknowledges “chester drawers” (no caps!) as a North American expression. However, the phrase does not appear in English Through the Ages. That source does show “chest of drawers” came into use in the year 1650. Good idea to remember this, in case you’re ever on the Jeopardy show.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Was Billy Graham Joking?

On page 31 of George W. Bush’s Decision Points, he tells about a family gathering of about thirty persons at his parents’ home in Kennebunkport, Maine, at which Billy Graham was also a guest. The senior George asked Graham to answer questions from the family about what being a Christian means. Graham talked about the “being born-again experience.” Then George, senior, said his mother, sitting there, had never had a born-again experience, yet she was the most religious one of them, and was kind. Graham replied in direct quotation that some people need the born-again experience to know God, but some are born Christian. Perhaps his mother was a born Christian, he said.

Is this what Billy Graham really believes? Surely not, for the Christian religion doesn’t teach that. It teaches everyone is born in sin and must make the choice to be a Christian or not. And it was too serious a subject to joke about. I imagine he will receive some criticism for this. I'm just reporting; you decide.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

George W. Bush Interviews

By this date, I’ve seen several interviews with George W. Bush (with one to go) promoting his recently published Decision Points. While they all differed in types of venue, the interviews did have something striking in common. All the interviewers asked about the president’s once considering getting rid of Vice President Dick Cheney. It seemed as if the journalists chose the most controversial personal episode they could find, perhaps without having read the entire book. I heard only one of them say he’d read the whole thing. Another point they all covered was the conversation Bush had with a woman of fifty years of age by whom he once sat when he was forty. I'm not talking about that.

It’s possible many viewers will remember the above two items at the expense of everything else in the book. But I want to tell you some more important statements worth remembering. Bush stated he had never compromised his principles in making decisions. I believe he meant that. He also said he did not believe an out-going president should criticize his successor. Although I did not hear this, I’m sure he must also believe that a sitting president should not criticize his predecessor. I don’t think the journalists would ask him about that.

Such considerations as these latter views show the real man, not the two sensational references in the first paragraph above. He also expressed great love and admiration for his parents. His book is dedicated “To the loves of my life: Laura, Barbara, and Jenna.” He didn’t seem too bothered about criticism thrown his way, but said he’d wait for history to assess his role as president. My humble prediction says history will regard him much more highly than many now anticipate.

At Barnes & Noble, I purchased the book, but also inquired about the Limited Edition that B&N had advertised on the Net and learned those copies are not out yet. They will cost $350 each. So, of course, I preordered a dozen of those to give as Christmas presents. [Here’s hoping my readers remember what a joker I am.]

Therefore, Decision Points has become one of the three books I’m reading now, replacing the finished Grisham’s.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

John Grisham

Grisham has done it again, written a terrific thriller that will make an excellent movie. The Confession may bring you to tears, as it did me, but I guarantee it will make you fighting mad. I will not give away the story here, of course.

Grisham writes in his “Author’s Note” that he loathes doing research, but he has depended on a few people for their expertise in certain areas. He advises us to save paper and not write to him about his errors. He anticipates they are insignificant. And they are, if they are there. The only point I wondered about was the timing of rigor mortis. It seemed to be complete a bit early. However, it’s quite possible I miscalculated the time. Nevertheless, it didn’t make a bit of difference to my being absolutely intrigued by the story.

John Grisham has been accused of not writing well. He may be the first to say so, too. I once read some teacher he had (probably one of those traditional high school English teachers; now remember, I was one of those) told him he’d never amount to anything. I don’t know if that is true or not true, but if it had to do with his writing in school, she must have meant he did not write in a literary style. If so, she was right. He doesn’t write that way, hardly ever offers a figure of speech. You don’t read a paragraph of his and say, “What gorgeous prose.” But he gets my vote for being one of the very best storytellers in the English language. I read a scene and say, “What great plotting!” If the author makes me cry, he has succeeded in a big way. The Confession kept me reading till almost 3:00 this morning, and I still didn’t want to go to bed even then. Do I need to add, I recommend this book? I certainly do recommend it, and I trust, if the facts are accurate, the state (in the Union) portrayed will amend its ways.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

It Pays to Read Novels in Your Childhood

When it comes to strange speech and the writing of it, some examples take the cake. Here’s one to give you a laugh.

Growing up, I’d heard the words dresser and chest as pieces of furniture in our household. But in novels I read chest of drawers and became familiar with the term. As an adult, I was shocked to see in print a reference to Chester drawers, and had to figure that one out. Here’s what I concluded:

In some northeast areas of this country the furniture was alluded to as chest o’ drawers. In the South, if you didn’t read novels, you might say chesta drawers. Any Bostonian knows that a final a is pronounced er, as in Cuber for Cuba. (JFK) Chester is a proper name. Ergo, it must be Chester drawers.

When I first mentioned this dummie error to a few friends, at least two of them said, “But isn’t that right?”

That reminds me of another one. The expression such as would have gone or would have been. When we speak informally, we are likely to say, would’ve, the contraction of would have. But many times this has been abused in writing with this version: would of as in would of been. Go figure.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

More Peanut Butter

Here’s a comment on my blog that came through e-mail. Enjoy!

"Paul [her husband] used to mix honey and butter with his. Elvis Presley liked peanut butter and mustard! I like sliced banana, but mainly, I just like to get a big glob on a spoon and eat it like a sucker."

Don't miss today's earlier blog below.

♥♥
Acting Awards

We have Oscar, Emmy, and Toni acting awards—and perhaps some unknown to me—but how about an Addie for advertisements on television? They could be highly entertaining with a little more effort. When I find one that is really clever, I can watch it repeatedly, but daily commercials about the same thing in the same non-entertaining way gets to be too much. I hit mute at that point. A really good ad currently running shows a lady sitting at a table with an antiques expert, copying, of course, a bit from Antique Road Show. The man has a colorful bird in his hand, and talks about its artistic qualities. One quickly realizes it’s not an animate creature. Then comes the time to put an evaluation on it. The expert says, “A bird in the hand is worth . . . two in the bush.” The lady becomes wide-eyed with surprise and says, “Really?” I love it. I could watch this one every day. That commercial is advertising Geico.

I bet you were already thinking of the Geico ads. They are certainly prize-worthy, with enough variety not to bore you. They would certainly give Cable One some real competition. Your part of the country could probably produce a cable ad of equal cleverness. Now that is just step one. Read on.

I advocate we should run all these clever commercials in the evening—say from 6:00 to 7:00 at the start, perhaps ending at a choice bedtime of fun for the little ones—and have adult viewers vote for the best of the week, but only one vote per computer. Even two or three computers in the household would not distort the voting too much so long as politicians aren’t guiding the project. There could be several honorable mentions for the week, several for the month, and eventually an Addie for the year, when the family gathers around to watch the best for a couple of hours. I don’t need to say this program should not include political campaigning, do I? Can’t you just see the gecko walking up to get his award, and making a quick, sassy speech, or sulking sweetly in a corner, if he doesn’t win?

Madison Avenue would surely work hard to produce these, for the Addie should be a large amount of money. And the big bonus: no running to the fridge for snacks to eat on the commercials.

P. S. I got this idea from Germany, not that I’ve been there, but students who lived there told me about it. The most popular television program of the evening, they said. Now to get entrepreneurs to read this. You talk it up, why not? Thanks.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Peanut Butter

Yesterday, on my day out, I did not go into a bookstore! That had almost become a weekly habit, when I have many, many books already on hand to read. I recently read three books at the same time, and am now into three others. The custom is to read a little in each one at night; then when one gets to the place where I can’t put it down, I finish that one first. Then it doesn’t take long to finish the other two. The one I’m into the most right now is U. S. Senator Lamar Alexander’s Six Months Off. Guess what the Senator ate as a child.

Have you ever tried a sandwich made with peanut butter, mayonnaise, and lettuce? Doesn’t that sound unappetizing? Well, that’s what Senator Alexander ate as a child. And he apparently still likes it, for in his book, he makes such a sandwich when he takes a day off and goes to the family’s cabin, soon after his term as governor of Tennessee expires.

People do funny things with peanut butter. Some mix it with sliced banana on a sandwich; others, with jelly. I like peanut butter with just cold sliced apple, without bread. Currently, my favorite method of eating peanut butter is a bit spread on Triscuit crackers. I suppose peanut butter is about as American as apple pie. I wonder if anyone has tried those two foods together. Why not? It makes as much sense as all the other ways. Of course, cheddar cheese probably got there first. And if you haven’t tried grated cheddar on your apple pie, popped into the microwave for a few seconds, you haven’t had the best apple pie. It’s delicious. Forget the ice cream. No one needs that.

Peanut butter is an excellent food to stock up on, against rainy days in the economy, like now. In case utilities fail or get rerouted (you never know), peanut butter doesn’t have to be cooked, lasts awhile without refrigeration after opening (buy the pint-size jar), and doesn’t need an electric can opener to make it accessible. It’s full of good nutrition and contains the good kind of fat we need.

Guess what I’ve decided to have for lunch. Right!